Mad Libs

Dear Yvonne,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but your nostrils are insulting. I think I realized it when you finally changed your underwear in your car and poured syrup on my boyfriend. I'm sure you're senile enough to understand that I may pee my pants. I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep your neighbours dog as a memory. You should also know that I told in my confession today about the moose poaching and you should get that embarrassing rash checked.

Your everlasting enemy,

Evette

My BFF Yvonne had this on her blog and because I not one original thought in my head I thought I would have a go! Hehe! Have a go if you like...here are the instructions.

Dear (someone),I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it (2)(3) and (4)(5).I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory.You should also know that I (10) and (11).(12),(Your name).

1) What's the color of your shirt?

Blue - I'm in love with your dog

Red - Our affair is over

White - I’m joining the Convent

Black -Our romance is over

Green- Our socks don't match

Grey - You're a leprechaun

Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy

Pink - Your nostrils are insulting

Brown - The mafia wants you

No shirt - You're mean

Other -I dislike your eyelashes

2) Which is your birth month?

January - That night you picked your nose

February -When you smacked my ass

March - When your dwarf bit me

April - When I tripped on peanut butter

May - When I threw up in your sock drawer

June - when i quoted forest gump

July – when you put cuffs on me

August - When I saw the purple monkey

September - Last year when you peed your pants

October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub

November - When your dog humped my leg

December - When u finally changed ur underwear

3) Which food do you prefer?

Tacos - In your apartment

Lasagna- In your car

Pasta - Outside of your office

Hamburgers - Under the bus

Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner

Chicken - In your closet

Kebab - With Jean Chrétien

Fish - In a clown suit

Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert

Pizza - At the mental hospital

Hot dog - Under a street light

Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper

4) What's the colour of your socks?

Yellow - Ignore

Red - Carve your initials into

Black - Hit on

Blue - Knock out

Purple - Pour syrup on

White - Put whipped cream on

Grey - Pull the clothes off

Brown - bit of

Orange - Castrate

Pink - Pull the pants off of

Barefoot - Sit on

Other - Drive over

5) What's the color of your underwear?

Black - My boyfriend

White - My father

Grey – The Catholic Priest

Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie

Purple - My corned beef hash

Red – My knee caps

Blue - My salt-beef bucket

Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana

Orange - My Blink 182 cd

Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection

None – My prized statue of Michael Jackson in the nude

Other --The elephant in the corner

6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?

One Tree Hill - Senile

Heroes- Frostbitten

Lost - High

Simpsons- Cowardly

The news - Scarred

American Idol - vexed

Family Guy - Open

Top Model - Middle-class

Other - Slutty

7) Your mood right now?

Happy - How awful you are

Sad - How boring you are

Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men

Angry - That your smell makes me vomit

Depressed – That we’re related

Excited - That I may pee my pants

Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you

Worried - That your Ford sucks

Apathetic - That you need a sex-change

Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your earlobes

Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist

Silly - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid

Other - That your driving sucks

8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?

White - Your toe ring

Yellow - The cut toenails

Red - Your Hannah Montanna underwear

Black - Your pet rock

Blue - The couch cushions

Green - Your car

Orange - Your false teeth

Brown - Your nose hair clippers

Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear

Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket

Pink(ish) - Your love letters to me

Other - The pictures from Vegas

9) The first letter of your first name?

A/B - Your collection of butterflies

C/D - Your photo with the mustache drawn on it

E/F - Your neighbor dog

G/H - The oil tank from your car

I/J - Your left ear

K/L - The results of that blood-sample

M/N - your virginity

O/P - My common sense

Q/R - Your mom

S/T - Your glass eye

U/V - Your criminal record

W/X – Your sucide note

Y/Z - Your credit cards

10) The last letter in your last name?

A/B - Haven’t showered in a month

C/D - Always will remember the pep talks

E/F - i hate your cooking

G/H – am better off without you

I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly

K/L - Will tell the authorities that you did not steal that whale in the back yard

M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching

O/P - Was interviewed about the car you stole

Q/R - Always wanted to break your legs

S/T - Get sick when I think of your feet

U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart

W/X- I told my psychiatrist about the bruises

Y/Z-bought tampons from winn dixie

11) What do you prefer to drink?

Wine- Our friendship is ruined

Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon

Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo

Milk - The apartment building is on fire

Water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked

Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice

Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war

Mineral water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this

Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism Is Weird

Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey

Beer – you should stop picking your nose

Other – Thanks for the Cocaine

12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?

Italy - Warm tingly sensations

Australia - Best of luck on the sex change

France - Love always

Spain - With tears of sadness

China – You make me sick

Germany – Please don’t hurt me

Japan - Go milk a cow

Greece - Your everlasting enemy

USA - Greetings to your frog Leonard

Egypt – Kiss my butt

England - Go drown yourself about the bruise

Some people should REALLY mind thier own business!

First things first...some background information...

Our little man hasn't been very well recently with a terrible cold. Smiley and I are planning on moving back to Canada in July of 2010 and I'm exclusively breastfeeding.

Now...for my rant.

Yesterday Smiley and I headed into London to catch Expo-Canada to fill in some blanks on moving back home as Smiley and Zachary are both British. We needed to take an hour long tube ride and change twice to get there. I tried feeding Zachary before we left but he didn't want much...heck...if you're not hungry, you're not hungry.

As expected Zachary fell straight to sleep the moment the train (tube) started moving and he stayed that way all the way till our last change over. We had one stop to go and we were waiting for the tube on a crowded platform. Zachary woke up and realized he was hungry so started screaming. The tube stop we were waiting at was above ground and yesterday it was quite chilly out and knowing our tube would be arriving any minute I rocked the buggy and 'Shhhhhh', 'Shhhhh'. I figured he could wait just a little bit longer till we got to our destination.

This shabby lady...closely resembling a bag lady came over and asked if he was hungry...I replied that he probably was but we were just one stop away from our destination and he could wait. She proceeded to tell me that when adults get hungry we get a small grumble but when babies get hungry they get severe cramps and should be fed immediately. I told her I wasn't about to get my boob out there (not because I'm shy but because it was cold) and he would be fine to wait a couple of minutes. She went away...

Two minutes later she came back and 'informed' me that I needed to feed my baby right now and that I shouldn't care what people think and my baby's comfort was much more important. I told her to go away and mind her own business and how dare she tell me how to raise my own child and what did she know...at one point I even grabbed her arm to push her away from us. I was furious and told her to get away from me and stormed off.

I ran into a couple of people with the push chair because I was so mad (I apologised) and Zachary was asleep by the time I got far enough away from the crazy lady.

It just makes me mad that some people feel that they have the right to butt into our business no matter what it may be. Ok...I know Pot, Kettle...Black...as I do like to 'help' people and probably stick my nose in where it doesn't belong but never with strangers.

Whatever happened to 'Mother knows best'? Ok...sometimes we do need help but I know my baby and knew he would be fine for 10 minutes or so. Turns out he stayed asleep till we got to the venue and I actually had to wake him up to feed him.

I just wish that I hadn't let the homeless bag lady upset me so much!

10 Weeks later

I know it's been a while...but I've been busy!

Zachary Dallas arrived at 9:20pm on 12 September weighing 7lbs 7oz. It was all a bit traumatic but we're both healthy and happy. You can read the birth story here.

But now we're 10 weeks on. Zachary is beautiful happy baby. He's now 12lbs 2oz, smiling all the time and has started dribbling...I'm sure his first teeth will be along shortly!

I always knew my life would change but I never realized how difficult the first couple of weeks would be. Between the hormones and recovering from major surgery plus learning how to take care of a newborn baby I was a wreck. I'm so thankful to my husband for all his support. I'm not sure I would have managed without him and I have so much respect for single mothers now.

We're headed home for Christmas. Mum gets us for Christmas and then Dad's for 2 weeks in the new year. I can't wait to introduce our little Doo-Dah to everyone!

I never knew I could love anyone so much!

8 Days overdue

That's right folks...I'm now 8 days overdue. I'm really wishing I had prepared myself for the fact that I could possibly be overdue. Even though I knew that only 5% of babies are born on their due date and 75% of all babies are born late. But I figured I would be early or on time. Gullible right?!?!?!

So the things they don't tell you about pregnancy...it's bloody hard work! I'm not going to get into the details as you don't want to hear about it. But I ache EVERYWHERE...and I mean it! I've also had an extra 8 days to think about labour...and actually, that's all I've thought about for the past 8 days. The more I think about it...the more scared I get. I know it's silly thousands of woman do it every day...and women with less pain tolerance than me (there can't be too many out there though as I'm a total wuss!)

Smiley has been a total star...he's comforted me when I've been in tears for whatever reason and been so very patient with me when I'm being completely irrational and I love him so much for that!

I've got to the point where I'm sick of people offering their suggestions to help things move along...yes people...I know they say sex will help...but seriously! Also...saying that it'll happen in the babies time also doesn't help...don't you all understand...I'm tired and I'm uncomfortable and I want my body back!

Also...what is with everyone wanting to know when I go into labour...can't they just be happy that they'll get a text or a call letting them know when our bundle of joy arrives? There are a couple of exceptions to the rules (people who make me laugh are excused) but no one (other than the dog sitter) will get a call or text when I go into labour!

I just want this baby out...I want to deal with the sleepless nights and the black tar poo and the disgusting belly button thingy...not to mention struggling with breast feeding. I want all that...i am no longer enjoying the 'belly time'. I just want my little man to arrive so I can love him and corrupt him in my own special way!

Today is Labour Day...well, not for me!

Well, Today is my due date...it's currently 3 in the morning...so I guess he still has plenty of time to arrive...but I don't think it's going to happen. So is tomorrow -1 days? I'm ready for him to arrive...more than ready!

The past month has gone by soooooo quickly! I thought it would drag by and take forever...and now that my due date is here I feel a bit let down...I still don't have a baby in my arms! I do feel like I've been pregnant forever and I'm more than ready to go through my 'day of pain' so I can have a lifetime of heartache!

I'm hoping he'll arrive before the week is out and definitely before being over due 10-12 days...I'm not overly interested in being induced...I'd rather things happen naturally!

Well that's it...just me moaning about not being in labour on labour day! But I did figure I should document this day!

Dog Days of Summer

So I could blog about being due in 4 days...but nothing has changed...I'm ready for this baby to arrive!

So considering that baby thoughts pretty much consume all my time...I was a bit strapped for something to write about...but my darling hubby has sorted that out for me! He's a star!

If you've been keeping up...we've recently moved. Now we've always had a bit of an issue with Moose (our Dog) digging a bit in the garden...usually he digs a bit and eats whatever he has found (possibly cat or fox poo!) But he's never dug a big hole...until we've moved here.

At the back of the garden is a flower bed with some bamboo growing in it. The Soil is lovely and soft, not like the rest of the garden...and he's taken to digging a great big hole in the soft soil! I don't really care but he does make a mess and every time we cover it over he just goes and digs at it again. I would like to plant some flowers there at some point but I don't want to waste my time if he's just going to dig them up before they've grown.

So Smiley looked up "How to stop your dog digging" and in Yahoo Answers the resolution was "Take away his spade!".

This of course does not solve our problem as Moose doesn't use a shovel! But I had a good laugh when Smiley told me the resolution he had found...Some people are so funny!

17 days to go...

Ok, so honestly, I wouldn't be blogging but Yvonne has this very scary blog list that says the last time someone posted...and my last post was 5 weeks ago...and I'm curious to see what it says after I post (I want to be at the top of the list!)

So yeah...17 days...can you believe it! I surely can't! 2 weeks ago I was attending my cousins wedding, which feels like yesterday. So I'm a bit overwhelmed that the next 2 weeks will probably fly by as well!

Last week at my midwife appointment I was informed that the baby's head was down (has been for 8 weeks or so now) and engaged. Ok, so this doesn't actually mean anything...except for the next step in the whole process is labour!

Last night we went for our tour of the hospital...I guess it made it that much more real...at any moment I could start having contractions and need to go into the hospital and be in that room that I was shown last night.

But seriously...it doesn't feel real yet. Does anyone every feel ready for their baby to be born? The whole fact that I have no clue when this baby is going to arrive must be some sick joke from God. I'm this terrible control freak who likes to plan nearly everything but this isn't something I can plan. So is God sitting up there laughing at me or is this just one of life's lessons to teach me that not everything can be in my control!

I had a scan at 36 weeks because there was a minor complication at 2o weeks but it's all good and has resolved itself...but because the baby was so big his features were so clear. I got a little weepy when she showed us his face, he was looking straight at us and it was almost like looking at a black and white picture of my baby. I've told Smiley that we'll need loads of tissues as I'm sure to cry a lot when the baby actually arrives (not to mention the crying before the baby arrives!).

So I'm getting quite large now, as one does when they are 37 +4 days pregnant...but I guess I never realised how big you actually get. I've been wearing Smiley's t-shirts for a couple of months now...but even they are getting to the point that they're just a smidgen too short now! Oh well!

All in all...I'm so very excited for this baby to arrive, overwhelmed, yes, scared, yes, but I'm sure it'll all be ok in the end!

New Home

Well, I've been told to Blog...so I'm blogging. (Yvonne I hope you're happy now!)

So we're moving...again. I hate moving. In the past 9 years I've lived in 11 different places. We were hoping to stay where we were till we moved to Canada...but alas...this cannot be as our landlords want to move back in...Fair enough...it is their house after all!

We've decided to move before the baby is born (assuming he doesn't decide to arrive early!) and since we have a dog (our faithful companion Moose) we were limited with places that we could rent. Fortunately we've found a place which is slightly bigger than where we are now but for less money. Slightly bigger doesn't include the loft conversion we currently have...but we never use it really other than the occasional guest and a load of exercise equipment we never use!

The 3 Bedroom House is outside of our beloved Bishop's Stortford in Takeley so that will take some adjustment time...but I'm sure we'll survive! There is a Post Office and a Chippy within walking distance...what else do you need!

Here are some pictures...which we've not taken...I nicked them off the rental site!

The outside of the house...a nice corner lot with not a big front garden (Thank goodness!)

Inside of the house looking from the Lounge towards the dining room and the doors to the conservatory. Nice decent size and open plan but not too open (if that makes any sense!)

The Kitchen. All white goods are included which is great, Cooker, washing machine, Fridge/Freezer and a dishwasher it appears! I'm noticing not a lot of cupboard space but I recall there being quite a bit to the left of the picture including a Pantry like cupboard. I'm not so sure about the frilly valance over the window...but what can you do!

The Back Garden. There is a patio area right outside the Conservatory door and then a small grass area and hardly any flower beds which contain shrubs! Yay! I hate gardening! There is a Shed at the end of the garden at the left hand side and a built in bbq on the corner of the right hand side. I'm sure Smiley will try to get it working! Outside the gate is the Garage and our driveway...So all in all, not a bad spot!

I'm not too keen on the avocado bathroom but who cares what colour it is...as long as it's clean (which it isn't...yet!) The Baby's room will be the smallest room and the other two will be our bedroom and the 'office'

But don't worry if you're hoping to stay with us when you come and visit...we have a double air mattress (a deluxe one!) that we can fit in the lounge or the office or somewhere!

This is going to be our home for the next year and a half (at least!) I just hope we enjoy it!

Welcome to the world Baby Murdoch!

Yesterday our friends Chris and Claire had a baby boy at 2:01pm. He was 6 days late and weighs in at 6lb 3oz. His parents have yet to pick out a name but Smiley and I are both so very pleased for them! I can't wait to meet the little guy!

Chris and Claire's baby means that I'm on the homeward stretch! Only 10 weeks and 1 day to go!

Congratulations Chris and Claire!

Happy Birthday Moose!

Ok...it was yesterday but it doesn't matter...We've had Moose for 1 year now and it's been full of excitement! I would not be without my doggy now, I love him SO much!

We got Moose from a rescue centre, he was a stray in Ireland...so we don't know his history or his birthday. So we got to choose his birthday...the day we brought him home and they figure he was about 5...So Happy 6th Birthday Moose! We Love You!

Horrible experiences

Today I had a horrible experience...it was not the nurse peering into my ear after my complaint of a terrible ear ache, nor was it the nurse that took my blood today and bruised me terribly...it was later on in the day.

When we got home from visiting the vampires in Cambridge (I needed to have a 28 week blood test done) I noticed a baby bird just outside our path. I've seen a number of baby birds before, probably about 5 already this year. The difference was, this one was still alive...barely.

Smiley got me inside and we discussed what to do. I was in tears as I felt so bad for this struggling little life. I knew that even if I managed to keep the poor thing warm enough there was no way it would survive as I couldn't feed it. (I wasn't about to regurgitate my food for it was I!)

So I decided that I would do the only humane thing. I would drown the poor thing and put it out of its misery. It made me very sad as it was so tiny and helpless but I knew deep down this was the right thing to.

Its little life ended quite quickly and for that I'm grateful. I'm also very glad for my decision as I saved the neighbourhood children the experience of seeing this baby bird struggling for life. As I look out the window to the street right now I can see four children outside riding their bikes and kicking a football about, right where the bird lay.

Race for Life 5K - Cancer Research

Well yesterday was the big day...and it came upon us very quickly...which I'm surprised about as time seems to be dragging throughout this pregnancy. Apparently the next 12 weeks will be the longest! I just can't wait to meet my baby boy!

But besides the point...Laura and I completed the 5K yesterday in a staggering 55:45. Obviously not my best time but I have never walked the whole thing nor have I ever taken part while being 28 weeks pregnant. It was a glorious day even though it started out overcast and because it was so...we forgot the sunblock. Needless to say Laura and I have burnt our shoulders, arms chest and back (and Nose) to a crisp! Oh well. All for a good cause...although it would be very ironic to get skin cancer from completing a 5K for Cancer Research!

I have managed to raise a grand total of £301 this time round and I have my darling husband to thank for a lot of that as he requested sponsorship from some of his clients! Obviously I can still take sponsorship up till the 22nd...so if you are at all inclined...please feel free to donate some money to a good cause! http://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/evettemorland

Below is a picture ( a bad one...but a picture none the less) of Laura and I before we started our walk.

Randomness

Ok...I know it's been a month...again...and I don't actually have anything to write about...but since I have a bit of a lull at work today so until I get some work in...I might as well post!

Things are good! I'm now 27 weeks and 1 day pregnant...and sort of enjoying it. I've come to grips with work and feel very settled again as I had a bit of an 'episode' in April where i needed some time off work. I'm hoping that was just pregnancy hormones! In general I just feel quite contented...which is ALWAYS a good thing!

On the long weekend Smiley and I (mainly Smiley) moved my office into his office. Now we have to share. We've done it before and it's been ok but I get distracted easily and in turn distract him...but I've only got another 54 days of work left so he won't have to put up with me too much longer! We've still got loads to sort out for the baby but we're getting there eventually.

We've decided to get a travel cot rather than a full size cot. We have very good reasons for this. The first is price...a new travel cot (the top of the range one that I want) is £100, we of course can get it cheaper off ebay! The second is the fact that we're looking at going home at Christmas and we'll take it with us so the little guy has a decent place to sleep...and he'll be used to it. The third is the fact that we're planning on moving home in 2 years and we'll bring it with us and hopefully keep it for any future children we have!

Friends of ours who have a 3 yr old have given us loads of stuff...only, they have a girl...and we're having a boy so I gave all the remotely girly stuff to our neighbours who are having a girl...13 days after me! They've been a great help and have saved us loads of money

It's all getting very exciting now as I have less than 3 months to go. There are about 7 of us all in a row expecting babies. The first one, Smiley's Best Mate and his partner, is due on the 15th of June...Claire is so excited and just wants the baby to arrive already. I think she's getting a bit fed up with it all! After that another 2 are due to arrive and then it'll be my turn. This is not counting my cousin, who I don't know or Danni back in Canada.

This weekend I'm taking part in the Race for Life yet again. I've got back to completing the 5K although I had upgraded myself to the 10k last year. The 10K falls in October and I really don't feel I'll be up to completing a 10K run a mere 6 weeks after I give birth (I'm not a woman of steel you know!). So I'm doing the 5K and I'm not running...I'll be 27 weeks and 6 days pregnant so just walking Moose these days is a bit of a challenge for me. I'm fortunate though to have my friend Laura taking part with me so I'll have company and she'll make sure I don't overheat or get a bad cramp or anything while on my own.

If you would like to sponsor me please feel free! Every little bit helps and I would love to bring up my children in a world where Cancer can be cured!
http://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/evettemorland

Well that's about it for now...I'll post more soon!

Sleeplessness

Ok, tell me if I'm wrong but the worst thing is when you just can't sleep!

I woke up around 4 this morning and couldn't get back to sleep...who knows...perhaps the baby was kicking and keeping me awake, maybe it was one of the lovely side effects to the iron pills I'm taking or perhaps it was because Smiley was next to me snoring away and Moose was in the hall, snoring away...whatever the reason...I tossed and turned for an hour before getting up.

Fortunately my good friend Yvonne was online as she couldn't sleep either and we kept each other amused for a while. Once I got Smiley up (as he had to go to work in London today) I fell asleep right away. I woke up a couple of times between 7 and 8 like when the yappy dog two doors down wouldn't shut up, or when the bin men came, or when Smiley came in to give me a kiss goodbye. The last item I'll put up with as I won't see him till late tonight.

I fall asleep no problem after those couple of things but wake up again around 9:30 when the recycle truck came. All that clanging of tins and banging of glasses...grrrr! So now I'm half awake and I can't get back to sleep easily because I'm thinking I really should call the doctors and I really should get up and walk Moose (don't worry, he's not walking around with his legs crossed, Smiley has let him out into the back garden and has left the door open for him) and to top it all off I've got this horrific song that used to drive me insane about 10 years ago when I worked at Fairways. It was by Rod Steward (or he covered it...whatever!) Ooh La La, and the line that keeps running through my head is "I wish that I knew what I know now, when I was younger". Seriously where has THAT come from?

So I'm thinking that I could deal with all that and fall back to sleep as I'm every so tired (I must take good care of this baby!) and then somewhere perhaps on the next street someone is using some sort of loud gardening implement...like a really loud mower...or something who knows I can't see it...all I know...is I had to get up.

So now I've called the doctors and had my rant...I guess I should get dressed and walk Moose!

It's been a VERY long time!

Ok...so I'm thinking when is too long...too long? I'm guessing 6 months or so is fine...So let me fill you in on what's happening with me!

My 31st birthday came and went and my fab fiance took me to Rome for the weekend. I didn't find out till we were on our way to the airport. It was great!

Christmas Day arrived and Smiley and I found out that I was pregnant! What a great Christmas present! This is our first baby and we're both very excited

February 16th was such a perfect day for us as it was our wedding day...I couldn't imagine a better day!

Now...I'm 22 weeks pregnant and am looking so forward to finishing work in 4 months and meeting my baby boy! That's right, we're having a boy!

I will try and update my blog much more often than I have been although I'm sure I've lost all interest and no one will be visiting again without prompt!